Celebrating the Fourth of July in Beijing

I celebrated American Independence Day 12 hours earlier than most of my friends in the States, changing my status message on various online chat programs to "happy birthday USA!" once my clock read 12:00 AM on July 4. I was alone in my room and the environs were completely silent. Perhaps I half-expected fireworks to go off outside and the smell of barbecue sauce and unhealthy American food to waft through my window. But alas, there was only silence, and the smell of leftover Chinese food from dinner.
I wasn't disheartened as I went to bed, though. It was only the first few hours of July 4 in China. I would get the next day and night to celebrate properly.
For the past year, I have been living and breathing China. It has been wonderful. I have studied in Peking University, shopped for electronics in Zhongguancun, decided that 300 Express is my favorite Beijing bus, climbed Tiger Leaping Gorge in Yunnan, smelled the sea in Dalian, visited my family in Shanghai four times, and watched spectacular fireworks go off right outside my window during the Chinese New Year. I have been far removed from American life, American customs, and often even American people, as there are not many foreigners where I now live.
But this one holiday was enough to bring on the nostalgia. I am sure all expats feel this way at some point during their stay in China, no matter how much they enjoy this country.
Last year, I spent Fourth of July in Washington D.C., the center of American politics and patriotism. I was working at the Department of Labor under Secretary Elaine Chao, whom many people suspected was my aunt because we have the same last name. Standing alongside fellow interns and coworkers, I watched the fireworks from the top of the Labor building, overlooking the Capitol. It was breathtaking. We listened to the National Anthem and recited the Pledge of Allegiance, which every American learns in primary school. We heard speeches on freedom, liberty, justice, and opportunity, the ideals that America stands for. There was plenty of red, white, and blue paraphernalia to go around. But for some inane reason, I wore brown that day.
This year, I made sure to wear red. I woke up and rushed about getting ready for work, putting on a black shirt I had already picked out the night before. But halfway out the door, I turned back and rifled through my closet. I pulled out a bright red Abercrombie & Fitch shirt I had bought in high school and decided I couldn't get realer than that. I also happened to be wearing navy athletic shorts with white stripes down the sides. The foolish smile wouldn't disappear from my face as I went out the door decked as a weird amalgamation of American flag colors and pretentious teenage fashion.
On the subway, I somehow developed a keen sixth sense for identifying all people who were wearing similar colors. I was surprised at how many Chinese women I saw wearing red, white, and blue clothing, although I am sure they did not have the same intentions as I did with my choice of apparel. I wasn't so impatient waiting for the subway to arrive. I didn't push and shove as hard while walking down the stairs amidst the crowds of commuters. Even squeezing into the dreaded outdoor queue to transfer subway lines at Xizhimen wasn't such an unbearable experience that day.
I continued my shameless solo celebration throughout the day. My coworkers asked if I wanted to go to a local Chinese restaurant for lunch. I politely turned them down and declared I was going to Subway instead. Since there is no McDonald's or KFC in the area, I figured Subway would be the next best thing, even if the sandwich fillings are too sparse to be truly American. I called a Korean friend, excited to share the holiday with her since almost all my American friends had already gone back to the US for the summer. For dinner, we went to Lush in Wudaokou, where 10 yuan Buds and 15 yuan hot dogs and hamburgers were served by frenzied wait staff in an already crowded restaurant. I met some other Americans who had come to Beijing to study. We toasted to American Independence and chowed down on burgers that were indeed filled with enough beef to meet American standards. My Korean friend was happy and excited too; the spirit was contagious.
Near the end of dinner, I experienced something that, in my opinion, was the most genuinely American event that had transpired all day. I asked an American college student I had just met why she loved America.
She responded, "I don't love America."
I paused and smiled knowingly. We began to talk about America's problems and her opinions on what the country was doing wrong. She told me why she didn't like the country of her citizenship—the same country she was drinking to tonight, the country we were supposedly celebrating. I understood her reasons and agreed with some of them. In the end, we toasted again.
To me, such an outright rejection of one's own country is in a sense what lies at the core of American Independence. Perhaps to others, Americans may seem insensitive, too talkative, too opinionated, and too quick to criticize. But we don't leave anything out of that scope of criticism, not even the land we celebrate on July 4. Even by saying we dislike America, we are in a way affirming its very essence, the principles of freedom and independence upon which it is built.
I walked home in thunder and rain on July 4 in Beijing, definitely not the right weather for fireworks even if they were permitted here. My stomach was filled with hearty food and drink, and my heart was filled with pride over a very satisfying day. Perhaps I had learned more about America here in Beijing, halfway across the world from the Labor Department roof with the National Anthem blaring and merrily burning barbecue pits, than I had learned last year while surrounded by fellow Americans in the nation's capital
I left my online status message unchanged 12 hours into the next day, just to keep celebrating alongside my friends in the States. Happy birthday, USA.
By Ann Chao, a Chinese-American university student who is studying and working in Beijing from 2007 to 2008.